“For death is the only certain thing in life, and despite this cliché being an absolute truth, with only the timing varying from one person to another, we never seem to be prepared for it.”
Daniela Norris, On Dragonfly Wings: A Skeptic’s Journey to Mediumship
Every Transformation is a Kind of Dying. Is it so terrible?
Matthew Doan, Published in ILLUMINATION
Talking about the end of life with your family is a difficult conversation for many reasons.
In some cultures, death is a taboo subject, never to be spoken about lest it befall the ones who dared to discuss it.
Some people are overwhelmed by a host of unpleasant emotions at the thought of dying, and this results in a reluctance to bring up what they think is a morbid topic.
Others prefer to adopt denial as a strategy, or see death as too remote an event to give it more than passing thought.
In the medical context, though, especially given that there are now ways to prolong life through hospitalization, and using invasive means, it is considered a good idea to make your end-of-life wishes made known, preferably in writing.
There are many organizations that offer templates on the options you have for end of life. Pallium India, I know, offers education on the topic, and has a editable template for Living Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney Authorisation which you can fill, download, and share with a trusted person, the one you would authorize to take medical decisions on your behalf, should you be incompetent to do so at the end of your life. Naturally, the living will must be filled in when you are well competent to make these decisions.
Having made my pitch for the need for end of life medical decisions to be made earlier rather than later, here are some thoughts on what the winter of our lives could look like:
Window glass blocks garden scents
but the flowers know the woman with the vacant gaze
they nod and sway. Her gnarled fingers twitch
Fluorescent bulb’s cold light
on somebody’s grandmother
in hospice bed
‘Mummy,’ somebody says,
‘have some soup, darling!’
Sweet girl, but who is she?
Lonely hand reaches
for sepia-tinted loved ones.
Assisted living
No tubes and pipes
to feed and breathe for me
just you and me, at home, promise me
Image generated by AI
Any thoughts on this complicated topic?
Beautifully written.
Glad you think so, Arun!